Something that I learned from
reading my classmate’s paper was that I got some ideas about where I can add
more detail in some places. The paper that I read had a lot of explanations
about his second source, which was a picture, and my photograph, did not have
as much. Reading his paper made me see where I can improve mine and where I can add more detail. My group
members both said that I needed to have a stronger thesis sentence. They said
that it was good but that it could defiantly be stronger and support the claims in the body of the essay. They also pointed out some
grammatical errors that I did not catch while writing. One person said that I
needed to have better transition sentences as well. I agree with both of them
when they say that I need to work on my thesis. I know that it is weak but I
believe that it is a good starting point and something that I can build off of.
However, I do not think that my transition sentences are bad. I think that they
flow smoothly and have a good transitions from paragraph to paragraph.
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