1. The thing that I like most about this paper is when you talk about how those girls attacked you, yet it made you a stronger person and you took the positive out of it.
2. This paper is about what you did to become a better writer, whether it was your english teacher that made you keep logs about characters or the scenes or it was being president of Japanese American Citizens League Eden Youth Group community service group, both helped make you a better writer. This paper does a good job at addressing the points but it could use more detail in some spots but for the most part it does fulfill the basic requirements that need to be met.
3. It would be a good idea to add more detail about how you will use reading and writing in the future. Try to expand on that a bit more.
4. Each of your paragraphs discusses only one idea and everything in the paragraph is related to that specific idea.
5. Overall I think your paper is very well written but there are a couple of spots that need some work. Your introduction hook could be a little stronger, share something from the heart about reading and writing and how you feel about it and strengthen your thesis a little bit more. It is strong but i feel like your body paragraphs don't support it enough. Your intro is strong, it shows us what you will be talking about in the paper and is very descriptive. You give great detail in the body and you do not leave anything out.
Overall the paper is very well written and spelling and grammar mistakes are not to be found. I really like it.
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